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My Testimony
I was the Grocery
Manger of a large Grocery Store. I was working 6 days a week, 12
plus hours per day as that was what was required at that time.
As if that wasn't bad enough on my wife and 3 small children, I
would rather go to the local bar after work to unwind. I did
that quite often, so much, my nickname was "Norm", you know the
TV show "Cheers"; "Everybody knows your name", that was me.
Everybody knew my name. I'd plan on only having 1, but usually
ended up staying until 2, AM that is. There were times I didn't
even remember, and times I wish I could forget. I didn't know
God. Besides, how could God really love me? I liked my "bar"
friends more than I liked being home. They would listen to me,
not judge me for what I did or said, they never yelled at me or
got mad. I felt wanted there. I also smoked, not a big deal you
may say, but I tried to hide it from my wife for 10+ years,
always blaming the smell on someone else or because I was at the
bar, everyone else was smoking, not me. I even thought I
could cover it up with cologne. How awful that must of smelled,
(I know now how awful that does smell, now). As you can see I
was not the greatest husband. I would say I was not even a close
resemblance of a husband. I did what I wanted when I wanted and
it was my choice to do so. No one was going to tell me
different. I even told my mother in-law that "my friends" were
more important than my family. What a schmuck I was. This went
on for some time, 10 years or so, until 1998 or 1999, something
was happening I didn't even realize it.
Back to the grocery
store where I worked. I shared an office with the scan
coordinator, a great Christian friend, Mick. One day I walked in
to our office and Mick had his radio on playing some kind of
Christian Music. He turned it off. I said "why'd you do that?
You can leave it on". He didn't know it, but I had been
listening to his radio when he wasn't there. I found out later
that after I had told him to leave it on, Mick and his wife
started praying for me, that I would find Christ. How awesome,
huh? There was another Christian in the store, the dairy
manager, Rick. As time went on they (Mick & Rick) would talk
about Jesus. I would hear bits and pieces, then blow it off. I
remember one time I wanted to tell a not so nice joke, I was
telling everyone in the backroom they needed to hear this joke.
There was a Coke driver there, his name was Rich, he said "Is
this something Jesus would want to hear?". I blew him off. I
went on to tell the colorful joke to everyone else that would
listen. I don't remember the joke, but I can guarantee you it
wasn't pretty. Another seed was planted and I didn't even know
it.
More time went on, I started asking Mick & Rick God questions. I
would tell them to come out back in the smoking area so I could
smoke, while asking questions about this God of theirs. I was
their boss, so they never really complained. I think they were
shocked to have the boss ask them about God. Rick said to me
later "I've never had a boss ask me any questions about God."
God was really working on me and I didn't even know it. I used
to say I wasn't good enough for Christ, and Mick would always
say "you don't have to be good enough, we are all sinners, and
no one is good enough on their own to get to Heaven". That just
didn't make sense to me. Rick loaned me a book, a story about
end time events, it really got me thinking. Who and what is this
God they are talking about. I always thought there was something
out there, but never cared. I wasn't living a very good life,
but boy I was having fun. I was happy, or so I thought. Alcohol
was my best friend. I didn't need anyone or anything else.
In the first part of
June 1999, my son Shane he was 10, helped me to make a decision. Shane
called me at work one day and asked "Dad, when are you going
have a day off when I have a Day off?" Meaning a weekend day
off. Boy that hit home!! WOW!! Another seed had been planted.
This led me to make a decision to demote myself, from Grocery
Manager to anything else less demanding. You see, I was required
to work every Tuesday thru Sunday, 10-14 hr days, I only had
Mondays off. Not much time to spend with the family, especially
when I always went out after work. I no longer wanted to be
away from my family, so I started slowing down on drinking and
going out to the bar. I still had the urge to go out
though. Every Tuesday like clock work. Only one day per week
instead of 5 or 6. That was a pretty good improvement for me.
As time passed Mick and Rick started talking about Promise
Keepers, and wanted to know if I wanted to go. It was in the end
of July 1999. I wasn't sure at first. As the "PK" event got
closer, I made a decision to go. My step-dad Don, his twin
brother Dale from Denver CO (also Christian) and Mick were going
to Tacoma for PK! Rick was unable to go, do to his wife's
illness. On July 30, 1999 Mick, Don and myself headed to Tacoma
for PK. We picked up Dale at the airport, got settled in our
hotel then headed to Tacoma Dome. This was a new experience for
me for sure, I did not know what to expect. I was kind of
excited, but nervous. It is a bunch of men on fire for Christ
and their families. 1000's of men together loving the Lord,
willing to show it too. Amen. Here I was in the Tacoma Dome,
with thousands of Christians and many like me I'm sure,
wondering what the heck is going on. The Holy Spirit was there.
I could feel His presence. The singing was awesome, no matter
how bad your singing was, you couldn't hear yourself, to tell
the difference. They must of heard us outside, blocks a way.
What a moving experience. Later on that evening about 7:30 or
so, they had the "Altar Call". It was for those who wanted to
commit/re-commit themselves to Christ. I was standing there
watching all these men go forward to give themselves to Christ.
I had this feeling of being pulled forward, but I resisted, this
isn't for me. Then I received the call. Before I Knew it I was
up front ready to commit myself to the Lord Jesus Christ. Mick
was trying to keep up with me, but he said I was moving too
fast. Mick finally caught up with me up front, as I said this
Prayer "Father, I've
come home. Please make me your son. I turn from my sin. I accept
your forgiveness made possible through Jesus Christ by his death
and resurrection. I place my faith and trust in Jesus Christ
alone. I receive Him as my Savior and Lord. I want to follow and
serve you. Let today be the beginning of my new journey as your
son and a member of your family. You have always kept your
promises. Help me to keep my promises, too. In Jesus name I
pray. Amen."
Tears of joy filled
my eyes. Wow!! I was actually committing myself to Christ. I was
so excited. I had goose bumps the whole weekend, that continued
on for weeks later. Since that night my life has changed
wonderfully, the Holy Spirit was working hard. And He still is!
When I got back, I started going to Church with my wife,
Lorinda, who had been going for sometime now. It was different,
a little uncomfortable not knowing what was to come. But
everyone accepted me, no judgments, no questions, just 'glad to
have you here' attitude. It was that part, the acceptance, that
helped me become a Christian. Pretty soon I wasn't going out but
once a week, though I still had that urge. I told all my "bar"
friends that I had committed myself to Christ and I was changing
my ways. They thought that was great for me. I remember
telling one of those friends that someday if don't come around
any more, don't be surprised. A year later in August 2000, I
stopped drinking and smoking, both on the same day, haven't been
to a bar since. Now tell me God wasn't in control there. It was
a bit hard, but when I had an urge I asked Jesus to help me.
Before I knew it I wasn't thinking of it at all, the urge was
gone. Mind you, I put forth all my effort to seeking God and
getting back into my family, so there was little time for
distractions like going out drinking, smoking etc. I filled the
void with Christ. On September 30th, 2000 I was baptized and my
wife was re-baptized. It was the beginning of 'our' relationship
with Christ. I was learning to Love and Care like I never have
before. Not only for my family but for everyone on this earth
including you reading this.
My awesome wife, Lorinda, has put up with me through the years.
I can never take away the pain I have caused her. Through her
faith and commitment to God, she has received the man she always
wanted (well, so she says). Lorinda has shown me that no matter
what the situation, problem or struggle, God is there to help
and forgive. Lorinda has forgiven me for the pain, the lost
years. Her forgiveness comes through God. She has this Awesome
sense that nothing is that important enough that you cannot
forgive. It doesn't mean to forget, but we must all learn to
forgive. With God you Can Do Anything. Because my wife has the
power of forgiveness in her, we have joined together in Christ
to spread the gospel. On September 16th 2001, Lorinda and I
renewed our wedding vows. This time I/we invited God. We'll have
been married 18 years September 2005.
I owe everything to
God, for his love, forgiveness, my wife. If not for either one
of them I doubt I would be here today. Jesus you are my Savior,
Lorinda you are my comrade, my best friend, my love. I thank God
everyday that He gave you the power to forgive. I just hope and
pray others can do the same.
Here I am a couple of
years later. I never thought I would be as far as I am today. I
remember starting out wanting to know the Bible front to back. I
wanted the knowledge now. Then realized it wasn't going
to happen that way. It does take time. Through Bible studies I
have learned so much. Bible studies are the best way to for me
to grow in the faith. Use the Bible, Pray for guidance,
strength, understanding. Pray for the Holy Spirit to come upon
you. I have come
along ways from 3 years ago. I have become a Deacon in the
Church, I help lead a Bible Study Class. I have learned so much
from those Bible Studies, I strongly suggest you find a good
one, to help you grow. Mind you this is a life long journey, I
am continually learning and growing.
WOW! Thank You Lord
for accepting me as I am and helping me change to be an example
of Your love and forgiveness.
Well here it is the year 2004, hard to
believe the above happened only a few years ago. I am still
moving forward, some days I felt I fell back a step or two, I
stumble, I goof up, still, nothing like before though. I do
notice that when I take my focus off of Jesus is when I stumble
more, so I guess the thing to do is keep your eyes on Jesus. To
allow Jesus to work in my/your life, amazing really, is all we
have to do is accept, to look towards Jesus, to accept His Gift,
the Gift of Salvation, the Gift of Eternal Life. You know I
still find it hard to comprehend the Love of God, I guess the
only comparison I can compare to, is the Love for your/our
children, and that isn't even as strong as God's Love for his
children.
I
have never been happier in my 38+ years, sometimes I wish I
would of pulled my head out sooner, but then again I wouldn't be
where or who I am today. I have a mission to spread the Gospel,
through my life experience. When I was a manager I knew a lot of
people and they knew me. Here I am a few years later and I still
work in a grocery store, amazingly I get to see all those
vendors, drivers, salesmen/women that knew the old Mark. Now
they see the new Mark and ask what happened, what an
opportunity huh?! I was talking to one of those vendors, and
somehow we got on the subject of drinking, I said I haven't had
a drop for 3 years, he said "wow!" "you smoke?", I said "nope",
he said "I suppose you go to Church too", I said with a big
smile "yup!" Funny isn't it. God had a plan for me. God has a
plan for you too, won't you let Him in? Ask Him, He is waiting
for you.
WOW...reading this again gives me tears of joy and goose bumps.
It is March 2005, I'm still moving in the right direction. Thank
You Jesus.
"Father, I've come home. Please
make me your son/daughter. I turn from my sin. I accept your
forgiveness made possible through Jesus Christ by his death and
resurrection. I place my faith and trust in Jesus Christ alone.
I receive Him as my Savior and Lord. I want to follow and serve
you. Let today be the beginning of my new journey as your
son/daughter and a member of your family. You have always kept
your promises. Help me to keep my promises, too. In Jesus name I
pray. Amen."
Haven't been back here for
a while, it is 2008, January 13th. I read through this again,
still gives me food for thought, I'm still looking, still
searching. Been off hte road a time or too, not like I was, but
taken my eyes of Jesus and put them on my own doing's, I can do
it myself attitude. God has still blessed me, after 23 years I
left the company I worked for about a year ago and started my
own business, a handyman/construction business. It has done
well, thanks to God, because I really don't think I deserve the
credit, I do not advertise, I get all my work form word of
mouth, I must be doing something right. 2007 Lorinda and I
celebrated our 20 year anniversary, still going strong, stronger
every new day. This year we are planning on starting to build a
home, not sure when or how it will get finished, but we have the
plans, working on the permits. We bought 10 acres last Oct,
already has the well, power and Phone. there is a septic but it
will not support our new home. Lord providing we will get it
done. Our oldest Shane is out on his own since October 07', he
is doing ok, he needs prayer, encouragement, direction. Our
other two Alisha and Preston are doing well, 16 ½ and 15½. |